More Nonsense

ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.

There was a young person of Bantry, Who frequently slept in the pantry; When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice, That judicious young person of Bantry.

There was an Old Man at a Junction, Whose feelings were wrung with compunction When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!" But remained on the rails of the Junction.

There was an old person of Minety, Who purchased five hundred and ninety Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares At the heads of the people of Minety.

There was an old man of Thermopylae, Who never did anything properly; But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes, You shall never remain in Thermopylae."

There was an old person of Deal, Who in walking used only his heel; When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply, That mysterious old person of Deal.

There was an old man on the Humber, Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber; When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff! You amazing old man on the Humber!"

There was an old man in a barge, Whose nose was exceedingly large; But in fishing by night, it supported a light, Which helped that old man in a barge.

There was an old man of Dunrose; A parrot seized hold of his nose. When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly," Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.

There was an old man of Toulouse Who purchased a new pair of shoes; When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!" That turbid old man of Toulouse.

There was an old person of Bree, Who frequented the depths of the sea; She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes, And swam back again into Bree.

There was an old person of Bromley, Whose ways were not cheerful or comely; He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust, That unpleasing old person of Bromley.

There was an old person of Shields, Who frequented the vallies and fields; All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats, Followed after that person of Shields.

There was an old man of Dunluce, Who went out to sea on a goose: When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile, "It is time to return to Dunluce."

There was an old man of Dee-side Whose hat was exceedingly wide, But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail, To come under my hat at Dee-side!"

There was an old person in black, A Grasshopper jumped on his back; When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear, That helpless old person in black.

There was an old man of the Dargle Who purchased six barrels of Gargle; For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill, For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."

There was an old person of Pinner, As thin as a lath, if not thinner; They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight, That elastic old person of Pinner.

There was an old person of China, Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah, Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy, And all of them settled in China.

There was an old man in a Marsh, Whose manners were futile and harsh; He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog, That instructive old man in a Marsh.

There was an old person of Brill, Who purchased a shirt with a frill; But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish, You obsequious old person of Brill?"

There was an old person of Wick, Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick; Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more, That laconic old person of Wick.

There was an old man at a Station, Who made a promiscuous oration; But they said, "Take some snuff!--You have talk'd quite enough, You afflicting old man at a Station!"

There was an old man of Three Bridges, Whose mind was distracted by midges, He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal, Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.

There was an old man of Hong Kong, Who never did anything wrong; He lay on his back, with his head in a sack, That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.

There was a young person in green, Who seldom was fit to be seen; She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all, Which enveloped that person in green.

There was an old person of Fife, Who was greatly disgusted with life; They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad, Which cured that old person of Fife.

There was an old man who screamed out Whenever they knocked him about: So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits, And continued to knock him about.

There was a young lady in white, Who looked out at the depths of the night; But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair, And oppressed that young lady in white.

There was an old person of Slough, Who danced at the end of a bough; But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees, You imprudent old person of Slough."

There was an old person of Down, Whose face was adorned with a frown; When he opened the door, for one minute or more, He alarmed all the people of Down.

There was a young person in red, Who carefully covered her head, With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather, Besides some long ribands of red.

There was an old person of Hove, Who frequented the depths of a grove; Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks, That tranquil old person of Hove.

There was a young person in pink, Who called out for something to drink; But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!" Which vexed that young person in pink.

There was an old lady of France, Who taught little ducklings to dance; When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!" Which grieved that old lady of France.

There was an old person of Putney, Whose food was roast spiders and chutney, Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea, That romantic old person of Putney.

There was an old person of Loo, Who said, "What on earth shall I do?" When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay, That vexatious old person of Loo.

There was an old person of Woking, Whose mind was perverse and provoking; He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail, That illusive old person of Woking.

There was an old person of Dean Who dined on one pea, and one bean; For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat," That cautious old person of Dean.

There was a young lady in blue, Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?" When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!" That ungracious young lady in blue.