Why They Married

He was a gentle and sensitive chap, He married the forceful Miss Howe, He wanted her sympathy, did the poor yap-- He has everyone's sympathy now!

SHE KEPT HER WORD.

Maud hung onto straps in the Subway and "L," No man ever said "Take my seat!" She swore that she'd marry the first one who did-- The next day her husband did meet!

SKIDDOO!

When your wife jams her hat on and packs up her bag And says "I shall go back to mother!" If you sniff she will say, "Just for that I will stay!" One excuse is as good as another.

SHE LOOKED SO DOCILE!

John Quincy tho' kindly and gentle, declared: "The man must be master, by gum!" But his outlook on life, is just what his dear wife Lets him peer at from under her thumb!

NOT A QUITTER.

Wilhemina's bridegroom failed to show up at the church So she yanked the driver off the wedding hack, And married him in lieu of John, who'd left her in the lurch For she would NOT send the wedding presents back.

EVER KNOW IT TO FAIL?

"I never could marry that kind of a man!" Said Miss Sue of a fellow named Sid-- So of course the gods heard her and laughed when they saw, 'Twas exactly the kind that she did!

HOW WAS SHE TO KNOW?

The reason sweet Alice got married to-day-- Sweet Alice, so prettily blushing, She hadn't the faintest idea that the gent Had another wife over in Flushing.

A TONIC.

Miss Luella Gloaming was naturally glum, So she married young Grouch, the recluse; For she says when she's sad, she just looks at his face-- Then she can't help but laugh like the deuce!

WHY THEY MARRIED.

This couple before you are husband and wife, He looks sorry and just a bit harried; It took a mere two-spot to scare him for life, At least that's the reason he married!

EXPLAINED AT LAST.

Mr. Pinhead was worth eighty millions, Miss Nothingbutt had eighty-two; Why do cash and spondulicks get married? Spondulicks and cash always do!

AN OPEN AND SHUT GAME.

They heard that people ought to wed Their opposites in life; He finds an opposition where He thought he'd found a wife!

REALLY SHE DID.

You never can guess why she married this man, There's no use the matter to mince, She married him merely because he had hair Like her lost Pomeranian, "Prince."

AND THERE YOU ARE!

The reason Walter Applepie Did wed his Nancy fair, She liked the way his mouth curled up-- He liked her fuzzy hair!

TRUE COMPANIONS.

These people are mated exactly, And all that remains is to tell, That she is a bully good talker, And he listens equally well!

AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM.

The reason this chap in the box here Made his lady friend Mrs. Van Pelf, He had a whole car-load of diamonds And he couldn't well wear them himself!

SO THOUGHTFUL OF FATHER.

Again to the altar went widower Brown, When his grief he could decently smother, He explained it to every acquaintance in town; "My poor children needed a mother."

OLD MERGER AND MAYME.

Why did they marry--December and June? Old Merger and Mayme-out-of-School? Mayme didn't care for those ready made frocks-- December was--just an old fool.

NOW SHE'S WAY ABOVE PAR.

Billy Margin, a broker, did wed Ysobel, Her shape counted most in his eyes, Now her figure's no more, and Billy is sore, For he finds he had bought for a rise!

AVERTED DANGER.

The reason Jenks married, So we are told, He was 'fraid he'd be lonely When he got old!

FATE.

The rector got married to Annabel Gauze, The rector was gentle and good; He made up his mind that he'd marry because She had made up her mind that he should!

THE SUN DO MOVE.