The Lovers Assistant; Or, New Art of Love

This Work was begun many Years ago, though altered in some Places by the Author, before his Death; as will appear by the modern Instances introduced in it. Many of which being so applicable to the present Time, is the Occasion of it being now published.

_As to any Exception which may be made to the Impurity of this Work, we shall transcribe what was written long ago in its Defence, from the Preface prefixed to Mr. Dryden's Translation of this Poem._

'A great many People are mistaken in these Books; and tho' they were made use of as a Pretence to drive the Author from the Court of Augustus, and confine him to Tomos on the Frontiers of the Getae and Sarmatae, yet they were not the true Cause of his Confinement. They are very far from being so licentious as the Writings of several other Poets, both Greek and Latin. However we must own he might have been a little more discreet, especially in some Places[A].

[Note A: He means in the other two Books.]

'That which offended the Romans most in this Work, cannot touch us. It has always been more dangerous in Italy to converse with Women of Honour, and frequent their Houses, than 'tis with us; where there is more Liberty, and what in that Country may be an Occasion of Debauchery, would not at all be so in ours.

'Notwithstanding all that has been said against these Books of the Art of Love, by some over-scrupulous Persons, whose Discretion has too much of Affectation in it: they are not only necessary for the Knowledge of the Latin Tongue, and the Roman History, concerning which they contain several Things very particular; but for the noble Sentiments we find in them, which the Gravest and Learnedest Writers have thought worthy to be quoted for Authorities.

'In a Word, there's nothing in them that comes near the Licence of some Epigrams of Catullus, Martial, and Ausonius, of some Satires of Horace and Juvenal, and several other Pieces of Ancient and Modern Authors, which are read and commented upon; and about which even celebrated Jesuits and other religious Persons, as eminent for their Piety as their Erudition, have employed their Studies. Yet who has condemn'd or complain'd of them? We must confess, such Things should be managed with Address; and those of them who have meddled with any of the Authors I have named, have shewn that it may be done so, by their succeeding so happily in it.

'As for this Treatise of the Art of Love, for which the Author has also prescrib'd a Remedy, as it is liable to be ill interpreted by those whose Pens poison every Thing they touch; so it may bear a good Construction, by such as know how to turn every Thing to Advantage.

'I will yet say, this Art may be apply'd to those that intend to marry. There is nothing sure against Decency in all that. I agree, if you will have it so, that it extends so far as to direct one to the Means to gain a Mistress. If this was not lawful heretofore in Italy, on account of the jealous Humour of the Italians, we cannot, for the same Reason only, say it ought to be forbidden in our Country, any more than in several others, provided we could be sure the Ladies Modesty would not be offended, before whom Youth should be always careful not to exceed the Bounds of the Respect that's due to them.'

To this I may add, that if the Objection of Impurity lies against any Part of this Work, it is only against the two latter Books, for in that which we have here paraphrased, there is nothing capable of offending the nicest Ear.

With regard to the Merit of this Paraphrase, which is entirely a new Undertaking, and might perhaps, if properly encouraged, be carried on with other Latin Poets, we shall only observe, that the utmost Care hath been taken to preserve the Spirit and true Sense of the Author, and where we have been obliged to deviate, we have given the literal Translation in the Notes.

Upon the whole, we cannot suppress, what one of the most learned Men of this Age, said upon persuing the Paraphrase, viz. That he thought it would serve better to explain the Meaning of Ovid to a Learner, than any other Translation, or all his numerous Commentators.

If in so learned an Age as this, when Arts and Sciences are risen to such Perfection, there be any Gentleman unskilled in the Art of Loving, let him come to my School; where, if he hath any Genius, he will soon become an Adept: For I would by no means have any young Gentlemen think, that Erudition is unnecessary upon this Occasion. It is well known that the [1]Rules of Art are necessary to the Conduct of a Ship; for which reason, none but able and experienced Seamen are preferred to the Command of one. Rules are necessary even to make a good Coachman, as those Gentlemen who have the Ambition to excel this way very well know. In the same manner is Art required to drive the Chariot of Love well. Now it hath pleased Venus to place me in the Coach-Box: what a Captain is to a Ship, or the Driver to his Chariot, that am I to Love. I own indeed Master Cupid is a little wild, and often stubborn; but he is only a Child, and of an Age to be disciplined: And however fierce the Disposition of a Lad may be, a judicious Schoolmaster knows very well how to correct it: For many a Boy who hath afterwards turned out a Hero, hath when at School very patiently submitted to the Lash, and quietly, at the Word of Command, held out his Hands to be whipt [2]. Duke William [3] himself, when a Lad, very possibly submitted to Correction; and he [4] who was hereafter to become the Terror of his Enemies, might in his Youth have been afraid of his Tutor. Mr. Pointz was his Preceptor: I am the Preceptor of Love. Both these Youths were of a fierce Disposition, both elevated [5] in their Birth. But as the stoutest Ox submits himself to the Yoke, and the most fiery Horse to the Bridle, so shall Love to me. Though he may bend his Bow against my Breast, and shake his Torches at me; no matter: nay, the more he pierces me with his Arrows, the more he burns me, the more severely will I be revenged of him.

But here, Master Apollo, I will tell no lies to my Readers. I do not pretend to have received any Inspiration from you, any more than from Parson Whitefield [6]: And as for Miss Clio [7] and her eight Sisters, I never visit them; nor have I even a Cap-Acquaintance with them. I write from Experience only; and Experto crede Roberto is my Motto. I promise my Readers that I will tell them truth; and if I must, for form sake, invoke any Muse, Venus herself shall be the Person [8]. Sweet Goddess! then be thou present, and smile at my Undertaking. But as for you who cannot smile, I mean you, Prudes, with your screw'd Faces, which may be considered as Signs hung forth before the Door of Virtue, and which perhaps, like other Signs, promise what is not to be found in the House; I desire neither your Favour nor your Company. Good-natur'd Girls[9] are all I write to; and such I promise them may read my Works without a Blush.

Know then, my good Scholar, that art unexperienced in the Art of Love, that this Art consists of three principal Points: First, to select a proper Mistress: Secondly, to win her Affections: And, Thirdly, to preserve your mutual Affection. Of all these therefore we will treat; or, to speak metaphorically, through these three Roads we will drive the Chariot we have undertaken to guide.

First then as to the Choice of a Mistress, to whom you may say, In Thee alone my choice is fixed. Do not believe such a one will fall into your Lap. It will become you to look about sharp for her, and with all your Eyes, I do assure you. And here my first Instruction shall be, where she may most probably be found: For he is a bad Huntsman who would beat about the Royal Exchange for a Hare or a Fox; and not a much better Gunner or Fisherman, who goes a shooting in Somerset-Gardens, or attempts to angle in the magnificent Bason there. As these all know the Places where their Game resort, so must you.

Here then, I by no means advise you to make a long Voyage after a foreign Mistress, as Perseus did, who fetched _Andromeda_[10] from the Indies; or Paris, whom nothing would serve but a Grecian Mistress. Your own Country, my Friend, will produce Women which the World cannot equal. Beauties are as plenty in the City of London as Apples in[11] Herefordshire, or Grains of Wheat[12] in Hampshire; they are indeed as plenty as Fish in the Sea, or Birds in the Air; nay, the Sky hath not more Stars than London hath Beauties: for _England_[13], not Cyprus, is the Queen of Love's favourite Island. Whether you love green Fruit, and which is in the Bud only, or Beauty in its fuller Bloom, or that which is arrived to perfect Ripeness; nay, if nothing but Wisdom or Sagacity will serve your turn, of these too Old England will afford you a sufficient Plenty.