In writing this story of thirty-one years of my service in the Sisterhood of the Roman Catholic Church, I have no apologies to make. From the treatment I received after I left the cruel and oppressive Romish institution, I feel that there are thousands of Protestants, so-called, that need to know what is required and demanded of the poor, duped girls that are in these prisons of darkness that dot this beautiful country of ours from one end to the other, guising themselves under the cloak of religion.
Then, there is the Roman Catholic, who has been brought up in that faith, and yet feels that the system as practiced in this country is not in accord with the American principles. To these I wish to give my message, that they might know the inner workings of these damnable institutions, falsely called "charitable and religious."
With malice toward no one, but for love of God, charity and liberty to all, I tell this story of my life, with a sincere hope that it may--in some little way--help you, dear reader, and your posterity from drifting into the now threatening condition of pagan darkness and the indescribable, as well as uncalled for, unnatural, inhuman tortures I escaped from.
Protestants are brought up in such grand freedom and liberty of spirit, both civil and religious, that it is almost impossible for them to believe that there can be anything to prevent Roman Catholics (I now mean the good Roman Catholic) from enjoying the same rights and privileges that they do. If my Protestant friends will just stop one moment and think about the difference between Americanism and Catholicism, then they will realize how it is that the good Roman Catholic cannot enjoy the true liberal government that their forefathers fought, bled and died for, and which they are enjoying today.
Americanism means true democracy--the rule of the majority in matters civil, and the protection of the rights of the minority.
Americanism means freedom of thought, conscience, speech and press.
Americanism means the right to worship God according to the dictates of your own conscience.
Americanism means that liberty of body, soul and spirit which tends to the development of all that is noblest and best in the individual.
Does Roman Catholicism mean these great principles?
Let me say emphatically, NO.
Catholicism means the rule of the Pope.
Catholicism means restriction of thought, speech, and censorship of the press.
Catholicism means the worship of God in no other manner than set forth by the Popes, and the persecution of heretics, even unto death. You weak Protestants will probably say, "Oh, not that bad." Well, let me tell you, that you had better open your eyes. Let me quote from the "Golden Manual," a prayer book I used while a Sister. This book has the approval of John Card. McCloskey, then Archbishop of New York, page 666: "That thou wouldst vouchsafe to defeat the attempts of all Turks and heretics, and bring them to naught." And according to the Roman Catholic Church, a heretic is anyone who does not believe all the teachings of that church. So you Protestants are each and every one heretics and the Roman Catholic church has no use for you, so why should you cater to them?
Catholicism means repression of individuality and the subjection of the body, soul and spirit to a ruling class (the priests) by the terrible doctrine of infallibility, for we, as Catholics and sisters, believe that the priest cannot sin, as priest.
With these Roman Catholic principles, which I learned and practiced as a sister, so diabolically opposed to our American principles, it can readily be seen why a good Roman Catholic cannot enjoy the freedom which the Constitution gives to every American citizen. And, my dear American Protestant, if you do not get any other thought from this book, I wish to give you one here in the introductory which will be well worth your earnest, thoughtful study: If these principles of the Roman Catholic system are allowed to continue being put into practice, there is a possibility that we may lose our precious heritage of freedom which has been handed down to us. I was deprived of all the rights of an American citizen till about five years ago. I was buried in pagan darkness and superstition and my soul longed and was dying for light and life, and I did not know how to obtain freedom because of the ignorant manner in which I was raised in the parochial school, and the damnable instructions I received from the so-called representative of Christ on earth, the priest. I have heard that there are about eighty thousand sisters in the convents of the Roman Catholic system in the United States, and if this power can keep that number of girls in subjection and ignorance, do you not think that they will do the same with the seculars, if they had a little more power?
Just think it over, and read of the demands of Rome I had to yield to for thirty-one years. Read the dark history of the Roman Catholic Church, and remember that Rome never changes; 'Semper eadem--' "As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen." Then maybe you will cease being Protestant in name only, and begin to protest.
Why are we Protestants? What is the meaning of the word Protestant?
Protestant is one who protests, and we are called Protestants because at the time of the Reformation the people who protested against the cruelties and superstitious practices of Rome took the name Protestant, and we are supposed to protest against the same teachings and cruelties today.
But how many true Protestants have we today? Very few, indeed. If you would be a true Protestant, you must protest twenty-four hours a day, and seven days in every week in the year. Thank God, the American people have, in the last few years, begun to wake up, and see the evils of this terrible system, which is gnawing at the very vitals of our free institutions. And, if the American people do not become indifferent, as they have in the past, Rome will meet the same fate here that she has met, or is meeting, in nearly every country where she has held sway for any length of time.
History tells us in no uncertain language of the downfall of the once powerful country of Spain, of the suppression of the convents and monasteries in Portugal, Italy and France, and without the system of convents and monasteries, priestcraft can amount to naught. With these historical facts staring us in the face, the convent and monastery system is becoming a power in this land, and the inevitable is sure to come--the suppression of all closed institutions. "History repeats."
Therefore, I wish to give to the world my experience of thirty-one years in a convent, that I may help hasten the time when these institutions will be open, and the captive set free; that I may help, if I can, the real true, red-blooded American citizens from returning to sleepy indifference.
I cannot write this story in the language of an educated person, for as you will learn in the succeeding chapters, my education was sadly neglected. There will, no doubt, be many grammatical errors, which I ask my readers to overlook, as it is not intended as a work of rhetoric, but a message from the heart. I will write it in my own language, that which I had to learn mostly by myself, and it took a great many years of hard work and a great deal of deception on my part to be able to tell it even as well as I will. And, if I can convey to my American brothers and sisters any new light on the workings of these damnable institutions, or, if I may be the means of influencing a few more to be real, true, honest Protestants, then this effort will not be in vain.
I have no tale of immorality to tell, as the order of which I was a member was what may be classed as one of the "open orders," and the institutions in which I worked most of my so-called "religious" career, were among the most modern operated by the Roman Catholic system in this country. I have heard and read a great deal about the nameless infamies and the degradation of the "cloistered" orders, but that story I must leave for some other to tell. I will tell the unvarnished, plain truth of my experience in the "modern" institutions, and let the reader draw his or her own conclusion as to the life the sisters in the closed orders have to live.
My Early Life and Schooling
I was born in 1861, in Minnesota, of German parents, who had come from Germany in quest of greater liberty and a home in a free land.
My mother was a most devout Roman Catholic, absolutely under priest guidance, and by his instructions to her the children were reared and schooled. My father was a broad-minded Roman Catholic, not very strong in the faith. I have heard him speak of the teachings and superstitious practices, as "priest foolishness." But, that there might be peace in the family, he would leave matters regarding the children to mother, and leaving these things with her was leaving them with the priest.
When I was five years old, we migrated to the State of Washington near Walla Walla (then called Fort Walla Walla).
I was the eighth child of a large family, and as my parents could not afford to send all of us to the convent or parochial school, it was my lot to go to the public school a few weeks occasionally for three years. This was when I was at the age of eight, nine and ten years. But, for fear of imbibing the "Protestant godless spirit," as my mother called it, I was given only a reader and speller. Nearly every day my mother would question me as to what the Protestant children would say to me at school. She cautioned me many, many times not to talk to them, as they were the children of bad Protestants, that they would grow up bad and wicked the same as their parents were, without belief in God and church, as Protestants were people who fell away from God by leaving the true church and following a very wicked man, named Luther, who became proud and disobedient to the Pope.
These Protestant godless (public) schools were greatly deplored in my home by my mother, and yet my father was a teacher and director in these public schools for a great many years. Because the Roman Catholic people had to pay taxes to keep these schools running, there was much murmuring against that unjust government of an infidel people, as it was called. With these contentions continually wrangling in my home, it did not require serious excuses for my being kept out of school. I have heard my mother make the statement many times that it would be better to have no education than to have this Protestant godless public school education.
When I was eleven years old, my mother and the priest decided that it was time for me to go to the convent school to learn my catechism, confession, my first communion, the rosary--my religion. In fact, during the three years I attended this school, that was about all I learned. True, there were classes of reading, spelling and arithmetic, but the books I used in these studies were of a lesser grade than those I used during the short time I went to the public school. By the order of the sister who taught arithmetic, I had to teach smaller children what little arithmetic I learned from blackboard study in the public school, having my class in the back of the room we occupied. The sister who taught reading (Sister Agnes) told us that before she came to that school to teach, she had been a cook in an Indian Mission. Well qualified, wasn't she? The catechism teacher (Sister Mary Rosary) taught sewing and catechism alternately, in that part of the building known as the wash-house.