The New Woman: An Original Comedy, in Four Acts

I'm much in the same case. Since he came up to town, I've only called upon him once before. By Jove, it was enough. Such a set as I met here!

SYLVESTER.

I understood that he was up the river.

COLONEL.

Came back yesterday. Hope it's done him good. After all, he's my nephew, and I mean to knock the nonsense out of him.

SYLVESTER.

Colonel, you're very proud of him; and you have every reason to be. From all I hear, few men have won more distinction at Oxford.

COLONEL [_pleased_].

Proud of him? My dear Sylvester, that boy has more brains in his little finger than I have--gout. He takes after his aunt Caroline. You remember Caroline?

SYLVESTER.

Oh, I remember Lady Wargrave well.

COLONEL.

Wonderful woman, sir--a heart of gold--and a head--phew! Gerald takes after her. At Oxford, he carried everything before him.

SYLVESTER [_laughing_].

And now these women carry him behind them!

COLONEL.

But he's a Cazenove! He'll come right side up. We Cazenoves always do. We may go under every now and then, but we come up again! It's in the blood.

SYLVESTER.

According to my wife--and Agnes is a clever woman in her way----

COLONEL.

Don't know her.

SYLVESTER.

His cultivated spirit and magnetic intellect are one of the brightest hopes for the social progress of our time--[_Laughs._] whatever that may mean!

COLONEL.

Does it mean anything? That is the sort of jargon Gerald was full of, when I saw him last. But he'll get over it. Intellectual measles. Oxford's a fine place, but no mental drainage.

SYLVESTER.

I can form no opinion. I hadn't the advantage of a university training.

COLONEL.

I had. I was rusticated. We Cazenoves always were--till Gerald's time. But he'll redeem himself. We Cazenoves have always been men, except one. That's my sister, Caroline; and, by Jove, she's the next best thing--a woman.

[_Rising, in his enthusiasm--the antimacassar slips on to the seat._

SYLVESTER.

A real woman.

COLONEL.