Public-domain ebook
People Soup
by Alan Arkin
Language: en280 downloads on Project Gutenberg
Subjects
In: Science Fiction·Children & Young Adult Reading·Humour
Public-domain ebook sourced from Project Gutenberg #51397.
The opening · free to read
Illustrated by JOHNSON
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Galaxy Magazine November 1958. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
When you took pot luck with this kitchen scientist, not even the poor pot was lucky!
Bonnie came home from school and found her brother in the kitchen, doing something important at the sink. She knew it was important because he was making a mess and talking to himself. The sink drain was loaded down with open soda bottles, a sack of flour, corn meal, dog biscuits, molasses, Bromo-Seltzer, a tin of sardines and a box of soap chips. The floor was covered with drippings and every cupboard in the kitchen was open. At the moment, Bonnie's brother was putting all his energy into shaking a plastic juicer that was half-filled with an ominous-looking, frothy mixture.
Bonnie waited for a moment, keeping well out of range, and then said, "Hi, Bob."
"Lo," he answered, without looking up.
"Where's Mom?"
"Shopping."
Bonnie inched a little closer. "What are you doing, Bob?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Can I watch?"
"No."
Bonnie took this as a cue to advance two cautious steps. She knew from experience how close she could approach her brother when he was being creative and still maintain a peaceful neutrality. Bob slopped a cupful of ketchup into the juicer, added a can of powdered mustard, a drop of milk, six aspirin and a piece of chewing gum, being careful to spill a part of each package used.
Bonnie moved in a bit closer. "Are you making another experiment?" she asked.
"Who wants to know?" Bob answered, in his mad-scientist voice, as he swaggered over to the refrigerator and took out an egg, some old bacon fat, a capsuled vitamin pill, yesterday's Jello and a bottle of clam juice.
"Me wants to know," said Bonnie, picking up an apple that had rolled out of the refrigerator and fallen on the floor.
"Why should I tell you?"
"I have a quarter."
"Where'd you get it?"
"Mom gave it to me."
"If you give it to me, I'll tell you what I'm doing."
"It's not worth it."
"I'll let you be my assistant, too."
"Still not worth it."
"For ten cents?"
"Okay, ten cents."
He poured sardine oil from the can into the juicer, being very careful not to let the sardines fall in. When he had squeezed the last drop of oil out of the can, he ate all the sardines and tossed the can into the sink.
Bonnie went after the salt and, when she lifted out the box, she found a package containing two chocolate graham crackers.
"Mom has a new hiding place, Bob," she announced.
Bob looked up. "Where is it?"
"Behind the salt."
"What did you find there?"
"Two chocolate grahams."
Bobby held out his hand, accepted one of the crackers without thanks and proceeded to crumble the whole thing into his concoction, not even stopping to lick the chocolate off his hands.
Bonnie frowned in disbelief. She had never seen such self-sacrifice. The act made her aware, for the first time, of the immense significance of the experiment.
She dropped her quarrel completely and walked over to the sink to get a good look at what was being done. All she saw in the sink was a wadded, wet Corn Flake box, the empty sardine tin and spillings from the juicer, which by this time was beginning to take on a distinctive and unpleasant odor. Bob gave Bonnie the job of adding seven pinches of salt and some cocoa to the concoction.
"What's it going to be, Bob?" she asked, blending the cocoa on her hands into her yellow corduroy skirt.
"Stuff," Bob answered, unbending a little.
"Government stuff?"
"Nope."
"Spaceship stuff?"
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