Public-domain ebook
by John Donne
Language: en432 downloads on Project Gutenberg
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In: Essays, Letters & Speeches·British Literature·Philosophy & Ethics
Public-domain ebook sourced from Project Gutenberg #61783.
The opening · free to read
Donne’s Paradoxes and Problemes are clever and entertaining trifles, which were probably written before 1600, during the more wanton period of their author’s life. Owing to their scurrilous nature they could not be published during his lifetime, but shortly after his death the greater part of them were licensed to be printed, the Imprimatur printed at the end both of the eleven Paradoxes and of the ten Problemes being signed by Sir Henry Herbert and dated October 25, 1632. The volume was published under the title of Juvenilia in 1633, but already on November 14, 1632, an order of inquiry had been delivered at the King’s command by the Bishop of London, calling upon Sir Henry Herbert to explain before the Board of the Star Chamber his reasons ‘why hee warrented the booke of D. Duns paradoxes to be printed’. Perhaps Herbert’s explanations were regarded as satisfactory, but, however this may have been, the King was not successful in suppressing the book. The volume is a thin quarto containing only thirty-two leaves, and was printed by Elizabeth Purslowe for Henry Seyle, to be sold at the sign of the Tyger’s Head in St. Paul’s Church-yard. The printer seems to have been somewhat careless in imposing the licences, for, although most copies contain the two, copies occur from which one or both have been omitted. It is not known through what channels the publisher obtained possession of the text, but it is probable that the publication was quite unauthorized, and took place even without the knowledge of the younger Donne, who, when he reprinted the Juvenilia in 1652, made no reference to any previous issue.
The Juvenilia were at once in considerable demand, and seem to have been bought by many of the purchasers of the Poems, which were also first published in quarto in 1633. This is evident from the fact that the two books are so often found together in contemporary bindings, the lesser volume usually being relegated to the end. The first edition of the Juvenilia was thus soon exhausted and a second edition was published in the same year. So ineffectual did the Star Chamber inquiry prove to have been that in this edition the publisher not only omitted the Imprimaturs altogether and so abandoned all pretence of having any official sanction for the publication, but even added to the first Probleme, ‘Why have Bastards best Fortune?’, which was particularly offensive to the Court, twenty-three lines which had not appeared in the first edition. This edition, as before a quarto and with the same imprint, but containing only twenty-four leaves, is considerably rarer than its predecessor. It is unlikely, however, that this fact is to be attributed to the King’s having had any greater success than before in suppressing it. More probably the demand for it was less, so that part of the edition remained unsold and was subsequently destroyed.
In 1652 the younger Donne, in the course of his exploitation of his father’s writings, prepared an authorized edition of the Juvenilia, which was printed by Thomas Newcomb for Humphrey Moseley. The number of the Paradoxes was now increased to twelve and of the Problemes to seventeen, the offensive passages in the first Probleme being allowed to remain. To these were added two ‘Characters’, ‘An Essay of Valour’, ‘A Sheaf of Miscellany Epigrams’, a reprint of Ignatius his Conclave, and, finally, the Essays in Divinity. The Epigrams purport to have been written by the elder Donne in Latin and to have been translated into English by Jasper Mayne, D.D. They may have been printed by the younger Donne in good faith, as it seems to be certain that his father’s Epigrammata mea Latina once existed; but the epigrams attributed to him in this volume are, as Mr. Gosse has shown (Life and Letters of Donne, i. 16), certainly spurious, and may well have been composed, as well as translated, by Mayne, who was an unprincipled, though witty, divine. The Essays in Divinity had been printed in 1651 for a different publisher, but they are very rarely found as a separate volume in a contemporary binding, for the younger Donne, as he made clear in his preface, sought to temper the secularity of the Juvenilia by issuing them in company with the Essays in Divinity, and in this way to invest the volume with an altogether fictitious respectability.
Even in 1652 the Paradoxes and Problemes were not printed entire. Another Probleme concerning Sir Walter Raleigh has been preserved in the Bodleian Library (Tanner MSS. 299, f. 32), the copier stating that it ‘was so bitter that his son, Jack Donne, LL.D., thought fit not to print it with the rest’. Yet another has recently been discovered in a manuscript containing Donne’s poems.
The Juvenilia have not been reprinted since 1652. In the present edition the text follows that of the second edition of 1633, amplified from the third edition of 1652 and with the additional Probleme from the Bodleian manuscript, already printed by Mr. Edmund Gosse in his Life and Letters of Donne, 1899, ii. 52. The spurious epigrams have not been included.
That Women are Inconſtant, I with any man confeſſe, but that Inconſtancy is a bad quality, I againſt any man will maintaine: For every thing as it is one better than another, ſo is it fuller of change; The Heavens themſelves continually turne, the Starres move, the Moone changeth; Fire whirleth, Ayre flyeth, Water ebbs and flowes, the face of the Earth altereth her lookes, time ſtayes not; the Colour that is moſt light, will take moſt dyes: ſo in Men, they that have the moſt reaſon are the moſt alterable in their deſignes, and the darkeſt or moſt ignorant, do ſeldomeſt change; therefore Women changing more than Men, have alſo more Reaſon. They cannot be immutable like ſtockes, like ſtones, like the Earths dull Center; Gold that lyeth ſtill, ruſteth; Water, corrupteth; Aire that moveth not, poyſoneth; then why ſhould that which is the perfection of other things, be imputed to Women as greateſt imperfection? Becauſe thereby they deceive men. Are not your wits pleaſed with thoſe jeſts, which coozen your expectation? You can call it Pleaſure to be beguil’d in troubles, and in the moſt excellent toy in the world, you call it Treachery: I would you had your Miſtreſſes ſo conſtant, that they would never change, no not ſo much as their ſmocks, then ſhould you ſee what ſluttiſh vertue, Conſtancy were. Inconſtancy is a moſt commendable and cleanely quality, and Women in this quality are farre more abſolute than the Heavens, than the Starres, Moone, or any thing beneath it; for long obſervation hath pickt certainety out of their mutability. The Learned are ſo well acquainted with the Starres, Signes and Planets, that they make them but Characters, to reade the meaning of the Heaven in his owne forehead. Every ſimple Fellow can beſpeake the change of the Moone a great while beforehand: but I would faine have the learnedſt man ſo skilfull, as to tell when the ſimpleſt Woman meaneth to varie. Learning affords no rules to know, much leſſe knowledge to rule the minde of a Woman: For as Philoſophy teacheth us, that Light things doe alwayes tend upwards, and heavy things decline downeward; Experience teacheth us otherwiſe, that the diſpoſition of a Light Woman, is to fall downe, the nature of Women being contrary to all Art and Nature. Women are like Flies, which feed among us at our Table, or Fleas ſucking our very blood, who leave not our moſt retired places free from their familiarity, yet for all their fellowſhip will they never bee tamed nor commanded by us. Women are like the Sunne, which is violently carryed one way, yet hath a proper courſe contrary: ſo though they, by the maſtery of ſome over-ruling churliſh Husbands, are forced to his Byas, yet have they a motion of their owne, which their Husbands never know of. It is the nature of nice and faſtidious mindes to know things onely to bee weary of them: Women by their ſlye changeableneſſe, and pleaſing doubleneſſe, prevent even the miſlike of thoſe, for they can never be ſo well knowne, but that there is ſtill more unknowne. Every Woman is a Science; for hee that plods upon a Woman all his life long, ſhall at length find himſelfe ſhort of the knowledge of her: they are borne to take downe the pride of wit, and ambition of wiſedome, making fooles wiſe in the adventuring to winne them, wiſemen fooles in conceit of loſing their labours; witty men ſtarke mad, being confounded with their uncertaineties. Philoſophers write againſt them for ſpight, not deſert, that having attained to ſome knowledge in all other things, in them onely they know nothing, but are meerely ignorant: Active and Experienced men raile againſt them, becauſe they love in their liveleſſe and decrepit age, when all goodneſſe leaves them. Theſe envious Libellers ballad againſt them, becauſe having nothing in themſelves able to deſerve their love, they maliciouſly diſcommend all they cannot obtaine, thinking to make men beleeve they know much, becauſe they are able to diſpraiſe much, and rage againſt Inconſtancy, when they were never admitted into ſo much favour as to be forſaken. In mine Opinion ſuch men are happy that Women are Inconſtant, for ſo may they chance to bee beloved of ſome excellent Women (when it comes to their turne) out of their Inconſtancy and mutability, though not out of their owne deſert. And what reaſon is there to clog any Woman with one Man, bee hee never ſo ſingular? Women had rather, and it is farre better and more Iudiciall to enjoy all the vertues in ſeverall Men, than but ſome of them in one, for otherwiſe they loſe their taſte, like divers ſorts of meat minced together in one diſh: and to have all excellencies in one Man (if it were poſſible) is Confuſion and Diverſity. Now who can deny, but ſuch as are obſtinately bent to undervalue their worth, are thoſe that have not ſoule enough to comprehend their excellency, Women being the moſt excellenteſt Creatures, in that Man is able to ſubject all things elſe, and to grow wiſe in every thing, but ſtill perſiſts a foole in Woman? The greateſt Scholler, if hee once take a Wife, is found ſo unlearned, that he muſt begin his Horne-booke, and all is by Inconſtancy. To conclude therefore; this name of Inconſtancy, which hath ſo much beene poyſoned with ſlaunders, ought to bee changed into variety, for the which the world is ſo delightfull, and a Woman for that the moſt delightfull thing in this world.
Fouleneſſe is Lothſome: can that be ſo which helpes it? who forbids his Beloved to gird in her waſte? to mend by ſhooing her uneven lameneſſe? to burniſh her teeth? or to perfume her breath? yet that the Face bee more preciſely regarded, it concernes more: For as open confeſſing ſinners are alwaies puniſhed, but the wary and concealing offenders without witneſſe doe it alſo without puniſhment; ſo the ſecret parts needs the leſſe reſpect; but of the Face, diſcovered to all Examinations and ſurvayes, there is not too nice a Iealouſie. Nor doth it onely draw the buſie eyes, but it is ſubject to the divineſt touch of all, to kiſſing, the ſtrange and myſticall union of ſoules. If ſhee ſhould proſtitute her ſelfe to a more unworthy Man than thy ſelfe, how earneſtly and juſtly wouldſt thou exclaime? that for want of this eaſier and ready way of repairing, to betray her body to ruine and deformity (the tyrannous Raviſhers, and ſodaine Deflourers of all Women) what a heynous Adultery is it? What thou loveſt in her face is colour, and painting gives that, but thou hateſt it, not becauſe it is, but becauſe thou knoweſt it. Foole, whom ignorance makes happy; the Starres, the Sunne, the Skye whom thou admireſt, alas, have no colour, but are faire, becauſe they ſeeme to bee coloured: If this ſeeming will not ſatisfie thee in her, thou haſt good aſſurance of her colour, when thou ſeeſt her lay it on. If her face bee painted on a Boord or Wall, thou wilt love it, and the Boord, and the Wall: Canſt thou loath it then when it ſpeakes, ſmiles, and kiſſes, becauſe it is painted? Are wee not more delighted with ſeeing Birds, Fruites, and Beaſts painted then wee are with Naturalls? And doe wee not with pleaſure behold the painted ſhape of Monſters and Divels, whom true, wee durſt not regard? Wee repaire the ruines of our houſes, but firſt cold tempeſts warnes us of it, and bytes us through it; wee mend the wracke and ſtaines of our Apparell, but firſt our eyes, and other bodies are offended; but by this providence of Women, this is prevented. If in kiſſing or breathing upon her, the painting fall off, thou art angry, wilt thou be ſo, if it ſticke on? Thou didſt love her, if thou beginneſt to hate her, then ’tis becauſe ſhee is not painted. If thou wilt ſay now, thou didſt hate her before, thou didſt hate her and love her together, bee conſtant in ſomething, and love her who ſhewes her great love to thee, in taking this paines to ſeeme lovely to thee.
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