The servant's behaviour book: or, Hints on manners and dress for maid servants in small households

Every rule in this book is necessary to a girl entering a gentleman’s family. Some of the things I shall tell you will be known to many of you, and some will seem new and strange; but all are equally important, if you wish to be well-behaved and agreeable servants. If you neglect to observe the rules I shall teach you, you will always be awkward, and fit only for common places and low wages; but if you learn and practise them, you will be able to rise higher as your domestic knowledge and abilities improve. Many a thoroughly good servant is kept all her life in inferior places, solely by the want of good manners; and many a servant of small abilities is advanced to a better position merely on account of her good breeding.

Do not think because some of these directions seem strange to you, that you will be noticed and looked at for observing them. All good servants do the things which I advise you to do, and all ladies are accustomed to see them done. You are much more likely to be watched and wondered at for neglecting these rules, than for obeying them.

I dare say some of them will seem so simple, that you will laugh, and say, “The lady need not to have told us that.” Now, believe me, when you have been in place a few years, they will all seem so. They all seem so now to me; so do not suffer yourselves to fancy I am telling you to do anything uncommon, or likely to call attention to you. I have taught a great many young girls to be good servants, and they have often said to me, “Oh, ma’am, I shall be ashamed to do this; every one will look at me!” After a little while the thing has become quite natural, and they have laughed at themselves for ever thinking it strange. One girl thought it seemed ill-tempered not to talk every time she came into the drawing-room with a coal-scuttle or a letter, and could scarcely be taught to come in quietly. Another thought it looked foolish to bring in money or letters on a tray, because conveying them in the hand was so much more simple. Another thought it sounded foolish to say “Sir” or “Ma’am” every time she spoke to a gentleman or lady. Now, I cannot tell which of my rules may be new to you; but I can only say that none are so to experienced servants, or to ladies. I know that none, however, are too simple to be useful to some of you, as I have learned which will be useful by finding out which I have had to teach to young girls in my own service.

Study them all well, then. When you find one that you already know, be thankful to your parents or other guardians who have taught you what others have had to learn from a mistress. When you find a direction that is new to you, be careful to put it into practice directly, before your employers shall have discovered your ignorance of it; and remember that every fresh rule you learn and observe, makes you a better servant.