Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 16, 1841

Name: Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 1, October 16, 1841
Author: Various

by Various

Read now Add to library

Language: en399 downloads on Project Gutenberg

Subjects

English wit and humor -- Periodicals

In: Punch·Humour·British Literature

Public-domain ebook sourced from Project Gutenberg #14932.

The opening · free to read

The study of Geology, in the narrow acceptation of the word, is confined to the investigation of the materials which compose this terrestrial globe;--in its more extended signification, it relates, also, to the examination of the different layers or strata of society, as they are to be met with in the world.

Society is divided into three great strata, called High Life--Middle Life--and Low Life. Each of these strata contains several classes, which have been ranged in the following order, descending from the highest to the lowest--that is, from the drawing-room of St. James's to the cellar in St. Giles's.

It will be seen, by a glance at the above table, that the three great divisions of society, namely, High Life, Low Life, and Middle Life, are subdivided, or more properly, sub-classed, into the Superior, Transition, and Metamorphic classes. Lower still than these in the social scale is the Primitive Formation--which may be described as the basis and support of all the other classes. The individuals comprising it may be distinguished by their ragged surface, and shocking bad hats; they effervesce strongly with gin or Irish whiskey. This class comprehends the _St. Giles's Group_--(which is the lowest of all the others, and is found only in the great London basin)--and that portion of the Whitechapel group whose individuals wear Bluchers and ride in pleasure 'wans' to Richmond on Sundays. In man's economy the St. Giles's Group are exceedingly important, being usually employed in the erection of buildings, where their great durability and hod-bearing qualities are conspicuous. Next in order is the Metamorphic class--so called, because of the singular metamorphoses that once a week takes place amongst its individuals; their common every-day appearance, which approaches nearly to that of the St. Giles's Group, being changed, on Sundays, to a variegated-coloured surface, with bright buttons and a shining "four-and-nine"--goss. This class includes the upper portion of the Whitechapel Group, and the two lower strata of the Clapham Group. The Whitechapel Group is the most elevated layer of the inferior series. The Shabby Genteel stratum occupies a wide extent on the Surrey side of the water--it is part of the Clapham Group, and is found in large quantities in the neighbourhood of Kennington, Vauxhall, and the Old Kent-road. A large vein of it is also to be met with at Mile-end and Chelsea. It is the lowest of the secondary formation. This stratum is characterised by its fossil remains--a great variety of miscellaneous articles--such as watches, rings, and silk waistcoats and snuff-boxes being found firmly imbedded in what are technically termed avuncular depositories. The deposition of these matters has been referred by the curious to various causes; the most general supposition being, a peremptory demand for rent, or the like, on some particular occasion, when they were carried either by the owner, his wife, or daughter, from their original to their present position, and left amongst an accumulation of "popped" articles from various districts. The chief evidence on this point is not derived from the fossils themselves, but from their duplicates, which afford the most satisfactory proof of the period at which they were deposited. Articles which appear originally to have belonged to the neighbourhood of Belgrave-square have been frequently found in the depositories of the district between Bethnal-green and Spitalfields. By what social deluge they could have been conveyed to such a distance, is a question that has long puzzled the ablest geologists. Immediately above the "shabby genteel" stratum are found the people who "keep a shop concern, but no shay;" it is the uppermost layer of the Metamorphic Class, and, in some instances, may be detected mingling with the supra-genteel Clapham Group. The "shop and no shay" stratum forms a considerable portion of the London basin. It is characterised by its coarseness of texture, and a conglomeration of the parts of speech. Its animal remains usually consist of retired licensed victuallers and obese tallow-chandlers, who are generally found in beds of soft formation, separated from superincumbent layers of Marseilles quilts, by interposing strata of thick double Witneys.

Having proceeded thus far upwards in the social formation, we shall pause until next week, when we shall commence with the lower portion of the TRANSITION CLASS--the "shop and shay people"--and, as we hope, convince our readers of the immense importance of our subject, and the great advantage of studying the strata of human life

I'm truly shocked that Devon's hounds The gentle ass has slain; For me to shun his lordship's grounds, It seems a warning plain.

It is generally reported that the usual drill continuations of the British tars are about to be altered by those manning the fleet off China, who purpose adopting Nankin as soon as possible.

A sailor ashore, after a long cruise, is a natural curiosity. Twenty-four hours' liberty has made him the happiest dog in existence; and the only drawback to his perfect felicity, is the difficulty of getting rid of his prize-money within the allotted time. It must, however, be confessed, that he displays a vast deal of ingenuity in devising novel modes of spending his rhino. Watches, trinkets, fiddlers, coaches, grog, and girls, are the long-established and legitimate modes of clearing out his lockers; but even these means are sometimes found inadequate to effect the desired object with sufficient rapidity. When there happens to be a number of brother-tars similarly employed, who have engaged all the coaches, fiddlers, and sweethearts in the town, it is then that Jack is put to his wits'-end; and it is only by buying cocked-hats and top-boots for the boat's-crew, or some such absurdity, that he can get all his cash scattered before he is obliged to return on board. This is a picture of a sailor ashore, but a sailor aground is a different being altogether. An unlucky shot may deprive him of a leg or arm; he may be frost-nipped at the pole, or get a coup de soleil in the tropics, and then be turned upon the world to shape his course amongst its rocks and shallows, with the bitter blast of poverty in his teeth. But Jack is not to be beaten so easily; although run aground, he refuses to strike his flag, and, with a cheerful heart, goes forth into the highways and byeways to sing "the dangers of the sea," and, to collect from the pitying passers-by, the coppers that drop, "like angel visits," into his little oil-skin hat.

These nautical melodists, with voices as rough as their beards, are to be met with everywhere; but they abound chiefly in the neighbourhood of Deptford and Wapping, where they seem to be indigenous. The most remarkable specimen of the class may, however, frequently be seen about the streets of London, carrying at his back a good-sized box, inside which, and peeping through a sort of port-hole, a pretty little girl of some two years old exhibits her chubby face. Surmounting the box, a small model of a frigate, all a-tant and ship-shape, represents "Her Majesty's (God bless her!) frigate Billy-ruffian, on board o' which the exhibitor lost his blessed limb."

Jack--we call him Jack, though we confess we are uncertain of his baptismal appellation--because Jack is a sort of generic name for his species--Jack prides himself on his little Poll and his little ship, which he boasts are the miniature counterparts of their lovely originals; and with these at his back, trudges merrily along, trusting that Providence will help him to "keep a southerly wind out of the bread-bag." Jack's songs, as we have remarked, all relate to the sea--he is a complete repository of Dibdin's choice old ballads and fok'sl chaunts. "Tom Bowling," "Lovely Nan," "Poor Jack," and "Lash'd to the helm," with "Cease, rude Boreas," and "Rule Britannia," are amongst his favourite pieces, but the "Bay of Biscay" is his crack performance: with this he always commenced, when he wanted to enlist the sympathies of his auditors,--mingling with the song sundry interlocutory notes and comments.

Having chosen a quiet street, where the appearance of mothers with blessed babbies in the windows prognosticates a plentiful descent of coppers, Jack commences by pitching his voice uncommonly strong, and tossing Poll and the Billy-ruffian from side to side, to give an idea of the way Neptune sarves the navy,--strikes, as one may say, into deep water, by plunging into "The Bay of Biscay," in the following manner;--

"Loud roar'd the dreadful thunder-- The rain a deluge pours-- Our sails were split asunder, By lightning's vivid pow'rs.

"Do, young gentleman!--toss a copper to poor little Poll. Ah! bless you, master!--may you never want a shot in your locker. Thank the gentleman, Polly--

"The night both drear and dark, Our poor desarted bark, There she lay--(lay quiet, Poll!)

"There she lay--Noble lady in the window, look with pity on poor Jack, and his little Polly--till next day, In the Bay of Biscay O."

"Pray, kind lady, help the poor shipwrecked sailor--cast away on his voyage to the West Ingees, in a dreadful storm. Sixteen hands on us took to the long-boat, my lady, and was thrown on a desart island, three thousand miles from any land; which island was unfortunately manned by Cannibals, who roast and eat every blessed one of us, except the cook's black boy; and him they potted, my lady, and I'm bless'd but they'd have potted me, too, if I hadn't sung out to them savages, in this 'ere sort of way, my lady--

The book keeps going