Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, March 15, 1890

Chorus of Farm Hands.

SCENE--_A Farmyard._ R. a stall, from which the head of the Bull is visible above the half-door. Enter Farmer BANKS with a cudgel.

Farmer B. (moodily).

When roots are quiet, and cereals are dull, I vent my irritation on the Bull.

[_We have_ Miss TAYLOR'S own authority for this rhyme.

Come hup, you beast! (Opens stall and flourishes cudgel--the Bull comes forward with an air of deliberate defiance.)

Oh, turning narsty, is he?

(Apologetically, to Bull.)

Another time will do! I see you're busy!

[_The Bull, after some consideration, decides to accept this retractation, and retreats with dignity to his stall, the door of which he carefully fastens after him. Exit_ Farmer BANKS, L., as LYDIA BANKS enters R., accompanied by Chorus. The Bull exhibits the liveliest interest in her proceedings, as he looks on, with his forelegs folded easily upon the top of the door.

_Song_--LYDIA BANKS (in Polka time.)

I'm the child by Miss JANE TAYLOR sung; Unnaturally good for one so young-- A pattern for the people that I go among, With my moral little tags on the tip of my tongue, And I often feel afraid that I shan't live long, For I never do a thing that's rude or wrong!

Chorus (to which the Bull beats time).

As a general rule, one doesn't live long, If you never do a thing that's rude or wrong!

Second Verse.

My words are all with wisdom fraught, To make polite replies I've sought; And learned by independent thought, That a pinafore, inked, is good for nought. So wonderfully well have I been taught, That I turn my toes as children ought!

Chorus (to which the Bull dances). This moral lesson she's been taught-- She turns her toes as children ought!

Lydia (sweetly). Yes, I'm the Farmer's daughter--LYDIA BANKS; No person ever caught me playing pranks! I'm loved by all the live-stock on the farm,