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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 October 7, 1893

Name: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 October 7, 1893
Author: Various

by Various

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Language: en310 downloads on Project Gutenberg

Subjects

English wit and humor -- Periodicals

In: Punch·Humour·British Literature

Public-domain ebook sourced from Project Gutenberg #39332.

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LEGEND OF TILLY WINN AND DURDLE D'OR.

The winsome Lady MATILDA WINN, Was a-ris-to-crati-cal-ly thin, With dove-like eyes. Her golden hair Was circled with gems so rich and rare. White and pink was the healthy skin Of the winsome Lady MATILDA WINN.

The Lord of LULWORTH, a somnolent Earl, Gave his moustache an extra curl As he woke in the morn, and ope'd his eye, A passing fair lady was passing by! Then he swore to himself, "Through thick and thin, I'll win the Lady MATILDA WINN."

The Lord of LULWORTH, that somnolent peer, Gained the young lady's father's ear, Who said, "My TILLY must me obey. One week to-morrow shall be the day When Lulworth's Earl shall become our kin, By wedding my daughter! my TILLY WINN!"

MATILDA WINN made signs from shore To her pirate lover, bold DURDLE D'OR. Who came at night with ladder of rope, For TILDA WINN had agreed to elope. "We're privately married, so 'tis no sin," Quoth the beautiful Lady MATILDA WINN.

But the somnolent Earl and the testy Lord Pursued and caught, ere they got aboard The pirate vessel, the lovers twain, Who leapt from the boat! And ne'er again, When past and gone was the tempest's din, Were seen DURDLE D'OR and his TILLY WINN.

There is as pleasant a little hostelrie in Lulworth Cove as is to be found anywhere in a quiet sort of way, with lunch made and provided, ready for all comers, be they never so plentiful. Mind always on this coast command the lobster, he is toujours à vos ordres. Those who can be content with the minimum of variety in the way of amusement, and with the maximum of health will assuredly find it here, where they can live the life of a sort of luxurious _Robinson Crusoe_--bathing, fishing, walking--five or six miles from the nearest railway station, and visited occasionally by steamboats, which cannot come in quite close to shore, bringing passengers, from whom tidings may be obtained of what is going on in the outer world.

_Note--Of music on board._--Almost every steamboat is accompanied by a couple of instrumentalists--a harpist and a violinist. These duettists do uncommonly well pecuniarily, and musically too, considering the difficulties presented by the sea passages. One of their more favourite performances is the intermezzo from the Rusticana. Returning from Swanage the wind rather interferes with the strings by attempting to unfasten the music paper. But the violinist, well on the alert, has foreseen the probability arising of there being "three sheets to the wind," and has nailed his colours to the mast, that is, has tied the music-paper firmly on to the stand. Still, in order to grapple with rude Boreas, he has to drop a few bars of his part in the intermezzo, a proceeding that causes no sort of inconvenience to the harpist, who ingeniously "slows off," and adapts time and tune to the exceptional situation, until the wind, being out of breath with its mischievous exertions, allows the fiddle-strings to resume their part in the concert, and kindly permits the two musicians to finish triumphantly. Their gallant efforts are well rewarded, and the musical pilgrims collect largesse in a scallop-shell. Back again to P'm'th.

THIRTY-THREE years ago, my WILLIAM, thirty-three years ago, Yet you, as of yore, are well to the fore, and Punch, too is in front also; And that paper cap was a popular crown, as Punch at the time suggested; With the real fool's-cap, by a singular hap, "the Lord DERBY" himself was invested.

Punch "advised his friend GLADSTONE to look out for squalls, and likewise look out his umbrella." (Prophetic that, but then Mister P. was always that sort of a fella!) You have used a good many "umbrellas" since then, both Old and New (Castle) "brollies," As you needed a stout one in DERBY'S storm, so you will, my dear WILLIAM, in SOLLY'S.

You have "had the honour of figuring," Sir, many times since then in my pages; As I hope, my dear WILLIAM, with all my heart, you'll continue to do--oh! for ages! The same great designer of "clever cartoons" ("our Sir JOHN") is as lively as ever, And if you'll give him suitable subjects, dear boy, he'll still furnish cartoons quite as clever.

"Liberal sentiments"--"manifest still"--"whenever I can," you say? Well, Sir! My sentiments, WILLIAM, are liberal _always_--but with a small non-party l, Sir! "Liberal souls devise liberal things"--_you_ know the authority grand, Sir!-- If your Liberal things are "liberal," always, by liberal things you shall stand, Sir.

There! Verb. sap., my long-honoured old chap! May a real fool's-cap crown you never, But a Crown of Honour be yours at the end--which we'd wish to postpone, Sir, for ever! Thanks very much for your genial touch. We have pleasant joint memories, many, Since you fought the good fight on the Paper Duty and a Press at the Popular Penny!

HISS-TRIONIC QUERY.--Where exists the theatrical manager who, utterly disregardless of tradition and reckless as to the omen of "the Bird," would have produced a new piece for the first time last Friday night, which was Michaelmas Day, the day sacred to the Goose? We know of only one manager likely to be so bold, and he would not be so audacious as to defy the combined omens of ill.

COAL AND DRAMA.--Mr. JOHN HOLLINGSHEAD says that the Princess's Pit, which has been closed for a long time, will be at once re-opened. The price has been generally accepted.

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