Twice Killed: A Farce in One Act

AUTHOR OF Five Pounds Reward; Only a Half-penny; Reigning Favourite; Dice of Death, &c. &c.

THOMAS HAILES LACY, 89, STRAND, (Opposite Southampton Street, Covent Garden Market,) LONDON.

TWICE KILLED.

First performed at the Royal Olympic Theatre, November 26_th_, 1835.

CHARACTERS.

Mr. Euclid Facile Mr. KEELEY. Mr. Ralph Reckless Mr. J. VINING. Tom, (his servant) Mr. SALTER. Mr. Holdfast Mr. W. VINING. Mr. Fergus Fable Mr. COLLIER. Robert Mr. BRAYNE.

Mrs. Facile Miss PAGET. Miss Julia Flighty Miss MALCOLM. Fanny Pepper Mrs. ORGER.

COSTUMES.

FACILE.--Brown dress coat, black pantaloons, white waistcoat.

RECKLESS.--Green Newmarket cut coat, light waistcoat, fashionable trousers.

FABLE.--Black suit.

MR. HOLDFAST.--Brown coat, dark trousers, and shoes.

TOM.--Grey livery coat, white knee breeches, top boots.

ROBERT.--Green livery coat, white knee breeches, ditto gaiters.

MRS. FACILE.--Black dress, ditto net apron, embroidered with flowers.

MISS FLIGHTY.--Plain white book muslin dress, white satin slip.

FANNY PEPPER.--Red dress, brown holland apron embroidered with green, cuffs to match, red ribbon in cap.

Time of representation, 45 minutes.

TWICE KILLED.

SCENE I.--_A view by a river side; on the opposite bank are seen the backs of houses--immersed in water, as at Blackwall, &c._

Enter TOM, with a large hamper, L. H.

TOM. Come, this will do; though its utility exceeds its beauty; a confoundedly ugly basket, though destined to hold most rare contents: several sugar loaves, a canister of tea--black and green, almonds and raisins in abundance, coffee, rice, and spices, bars of soap, starch and powder, blue enough to stock a small shop. Dear Fanny! if her heart is not won by such a store of valuables, it is indeed hard.

Enter RECKLESS, L. H.

RECK. Ha, ha, ha, I've found her--What you here?

TOM. Yes, sir.

RECK. I have found her, I'll tell you; congratulate your fortunate master, most faithful Thomas.

TOM. Have you indeed found Miss Julia, and how?

RECK. Simply saw her at a house window.

TOM. But you cannot get into that house.

RECK. No; but I have got my mark, the means of hitting that mark are still in fortune's hands.

TOM. And in worse hands they could not be; sir, do give up this scheme. You fall in love with a young lady at a boarding school, correspond with her under a feigned name--

RECK. Yes, you know that arose from the fear of my cousin, old Guineamore, hearing of these matters. I dared not trust my own lady love. You are aware I have immense expectations from him, and that he hates anything like adventures.

TOM. Yes, and Reginald de Mowbray is a much prettier name than Ralph Reckless, but where was I? Oh, a feigned name. Well, the young lady's governess finds out the correspondence, and very properly sends her to her guardians, who takes her into the country, also very properly; give up this scheme, sir--

RECK. Not I; when I have found the retreat of my charmer, the cavern where the treasure is hid, shall I be craven knight enough to fear the dragon that guards it? No, man, not I--so if you have not better advice to give, we'll change the subject. What the devil is that great basket for?

TOM. What? oh, that is an affair of the heart; you have confided all your tender secrets to me, therefore I will do the same to you, sir, if you will allow me.

RECK. Certainly, good Thomas, go on.

TOM. Why, a sort of a relation of mine--a grocer, died the other day, without a will, and his stock in trade got divided among six of us. I have borrowed this large crate from Delfs, the crockery-warehouseman, to stow my share in; and am thinking I could not do the genteel thing better, (as my sweetheart Fanny's in service, and has to find such articles out of her wages,) than to make her a delicate present of the groceries, to sweeten my progress in her affections--eh, sir?

RECK. Delicate indeed! that I should have so gallant a man in my service; and where does this happy maiden reside?

TOM. You see that white house, the other side of the water? one of those houses in the water.

RECK. What! the white one?