Public-domain ebook

Redcoat Captain: A Story of That Country

Name: Redcoat Captain: A Story of That Country
Author: Alfred Ollivant

by Alfred Ollivant

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Language: en315 downloads on Project Gutenberg

Subjects

English fiction Parables

In: Science-Fiction & Fantasy·Romance·Adventure

Public-domain ebook sourced from Project Gutenberg #54575.

The opening · free to read

Then Tiny shut the door, and began,

"I am Tiny; and I am going to marry Baby. How long will I stop in this hole, because about taking a house to put Baby in?"

So the General bent towards his boots; and his head shone; and his boots shone; and he bulged over the fire; and he said,

"I am Sir Goodall Grouse, and a Major-General. I had ought to be a full General if I had me rights--only they cheat so."

Then he bowed himself straight; and he was very red and tight; and he shot his neck till the veins swelled, and he shouted,

"And I don't care who knows it."

So Tiny, who knew Generals, pretended sad, and shook his head, and answered,

"When we go out to war, Sir, we always say that if only Sir Goodall came and did it, it wouldn't be a war at all, to call one, it would be a walk-over."

And when the General heard that, he sat down and said,

"You are a very promisin young officer indeed!" And he made a bump in his cheek with his tongue, and wrote upon the blotting-paper for ten minutes most industriously,

Captain Tiny to be reccomended for promotion:

Then he turned to Tiny and rubbed his hands and said,

"And now what will you allow me for to do for you?" And the clerk was so astonished that he poked in to see.

So Tiny told for the second time.

Then the General rolled the quid of toffee in his cheek very wisely, and he wrinkled, and said,

"Well. You will probly stop here for all time, and certainly for years and years. And you may take that on the word of Sir Goodall Grouse, who never told a lie, cause he couldn't think of one to tell." And he blew out his chest so a button flew, and shouted, "And what's more, I should ought to be a full General if I had me rights--and I don't care who knows it!" And he thumped the blotting-paper till it shook.

Then Tiny winked to himself and said inside,

"Hang your rights, Old Roast End!" but outside he said,

"Thank you, Sir. Now I feel a lot better."

And he saluted and went out, meek as a mouse; but directly he got outside he took to his legs and raced across the square, shouting and singing because of Baby and the house where he would keep her for years and years while he trained her how to be a soldier's wife.

And about next day Sir Goodall retired, because he said the Service didn't leave him time enough to roast himself.

And that is about all about Sir Goodall for now.

And when Tiny got there they were all feeding and complaining about A B C and D, which you have to pass for promotion in That Army.

For it appeared that the Commander-in-Chief at the Castle had just sent over word by Cooey, the carrier-pigeon, to say that they must all learn down to E now, or leave That Country.

And he said it was because that was what they did in Willie-Land; but they said it was because of spite.

For it was well known that the Commander-in-Chief's great ambition was a ride on Goliath. And the night before he had come and tried to climb on by stealth while Goly slept. But old Goly woke up in the middle and trod on his toe instead.

So the Commander-in-Chief had limped back to the Castle with his hump up. And because he had a curiously nasty nature, and bore malice a lot, he now sent word by Cooey to say that they must choose between E and exile.

And it is usually considered the greatest misery that can happen to you to be sent out of That Country.

For That Country is the Land-where-you-never-grow-old--so long, that is, as you are good and loving.

Indeed, if you live truly, you grow younger all the time, although your hair turns grey just the same as in Abroad. And when you are so young and so happy that you can bear it no more, then you die.

But directly you begin to go bad, you grow old. And then the right place for you is Abroad, where all the common people live, and grow horrider and horrider every day, and never die.

So naturally everybody born in That Country wants to live there all the time, except when they have to go away to Moonland for one month after marriage: for that is one of the rules.

But if you are not good and loving, then they turn you out, when they find out about you, which they very often don't for a long time, because they are so sweet and simple. And you are supposed to hate nobody in That Country; but if you do, then you try to sort of cuckoo him out by working under him with your wings.

And that was what the Commander-in-Chief, sitting in the Castle-tower, with his toe in a bandage, plotted in his own secret mind to do to the Regiment, because of Goliath.

For the Commander-in-Chief was a real villain, and already growing old.

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