Public-domain ebook
by G. E. Farrow
Language: en312 downloads on Project Gutenberg
Subjects
In: Children & Young Adult Reading·Science-Fiction & Fantasy·Humour
Public-domain ebook sourced from Project Gutenberg #61163.
The opening · free to read
“Oh, you dear old thing!” cried Girlie, jumping up excitedly, and catching Dumpsey Deazil up in her arms. “I always knew that you could talk if you only would, and now at last you are going to do so, just as dolls always do in fairy tale books.”
“Of course all dolls can talk if they like,” said Dumpsey Deazil; “only they never do so, except when they wish. But about the Goo, do you really want to know what it is?”
“Yes, I do,” said Girlie, “because I don’t remember ever having heard of such a thing.”
“Well, I don’t quite know what it is myself,” said Dumpsey Deazil, “but I can take you to the land of Why if you like, where all the questions and answers come from, and then you can find out for yourself, you know.”
“Oh! that would be splendid!” exclaimed Girlie. “Is it a very long way off though?”
“Yes, it is rather a long way,” admitted Dumpsey Deazil; “but it would not take us long to get there by the way in which we should go.”
“How is that?” asked Girlie. “By train?”
“Oh dear, no!” cried Dumpsey Deazil; “by a much quicker way than that. You have just to take hold of one of my hands and, shutting your eyes very tightly, count up to one hundred aloud, and then when you open them again you will find yourself there.”
“What a funny way to travel,” said Girlie. “I am sure, though, that I should like it very much indeed. Can we go now, this very minute?”
“Yes,” said Dumpsey Deazil; “but, before we start, you must promise me that you will be very kind to the Wallypug, for he is a kind of relation of mine.”
“The Wallypug! Good gracious! Whoever is he?” exclaimed Girlie.
“You will see when you get to Why,” said Dumpsey Deazil mysteriously. “Now then, are you ready? Remember, though, you must be sure and not let go of my hand till you have counted up to one hundred, or you will lose me.”
“All right!” promised Girlie, taking hold of Dumpsey Deazil’s hand and screwing up her eyes very tightly. “One, two——”
She was sorely tempted to open her eyes, however, when she felt herself being carried off her feet; still, she felt very comfortable and it seemed to her that she was floating rapidly through the air.
A benevolent-looking little old gentleman, dressed in knee breeches and wearing a huge broad-brimmed hat, was holding her wrist with one hand, while in the other he held a toy watch.
Dumpsey Deazil was floating rapidly away in the distance, frantically waving her arms and screaming out in an agonised voice,—
“I told you not to open your eyes until you had got to one hundred!”
“DUMPSEY DEAZIL WAS FLOATING RAPIDLY AWAY.” ]
Girlie watched her disappear over the hedge, and then turned in dismay to the little old gentleman, who was still holding her hand and beaming upon her with a reassuring smile.
“Your friend was taking you through the air rather too quickly to be good for your health, so I thought that I had better stop you,” he said.
“Well, then, I think it was very rude of you,” said Girlie, who felt greatly alarmed at having lost Dumpsey Deazil. “I don’t know, I am sure, however I am going to get home again now,” she continued, feeling half inclined to cry.
“Excuse me, you should never say ‘_I don’t know_,’” said the old gentleman. “It is a very bad plan. If you really do not know anything, you should always pretend that you do. I invariably do so, and I ought to know, for I am the Wallypug’s Doctor-in-law.”
“Oh! Who is the Wallypug, please?” asked Girlie curiously, “and I’m afraid I don’t know what a doctor-in-law is, either.”
“One question at a time, my child,” said the old gentleman. “Who the Wallypug is you will soon find out for yourself; and a doctor-in-law is something between a father-in-law and a step-father, a sort of half-a-stepfather, in fact. That will be six-and-eightpence, please,” and the Doctor-in-law held out his hand with a smile.
“What for?” exclaimed Girlie.
“Professional advice,” said the Doctor-in-law blandly.
“What advice?” asked Girlie; “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Didn’t I advise you never to say, ‘I don’t know’?” explained the Doctor-in-law.
“But I didn’t ask you to give me any advice at all,” cried Girlie in dismay.
“Oh! if I waited till people asked me for advice I should never get any clients!” said the Doctor-in-law; “and you might as well give me the other guinea at the same time,” he continued.
“What other guinea? What do you mean?” asked Girlie.
“The guinea for professional attendance when you first arrived here,” said the Doctor-in-law. “I always charge a guinea for that.”
“But I didn’t want you to attend to me,” said Girlie indignantly. “I wish you hadn’t.”
“If I waited till people wanted me to attend to them I should get no patients,” admitted the Doctor-in-law; “so I always attend to people when I think they require it, whether they wish me to do so, or not. I must really insist on the fee, please. Let’s see, that will be three pounds seven altogether, won’t it?” he continued, making a calculation in his pocket-book.
“Certainly not!” said Girlie; “how can you make that out?”
“Well, you see, if you add them together they come to about that,” said the Doctor-in-law.
“I am sure they don’t,” cried Girlie.
“It’s very rude to contradict your elders,” remarked the Doctor-in-law severely. “I am surprised at you. Give me the money at once, please.”
“But I have no money with me,” said Girlie, getting rather frightened.
“Dear me, this is very serious,” said the old gentleman, looking genuinely grieved. “Do you really mean to tell me,” he continued, “that you are travelling about the country without any money at all in your pocket?”
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