A Week in Wall Street By One Who Knows

N. B. It is perceived that a considerable number of errors have escaped notice and correction, in the following pages; but as they affect only the orthography and the grammar, without detracting from the truth, or the moral of the story, I have thought it best to leave their correction to the intelligent and good humored reader, rather than mar a page with a formidable list of errata—except, that, in one instance, as a mere friendly suggestion, I would request the substitution, on 129th page, 7th line, of “_stewardship_” for “_friendship_.”

As the practice of some readers is to begin in the middle and read a book backwards, I respectfully request those who may open here, to begin at the beginning and read the preface first. In case of any captiousness of disposition on their parts, they may thereby save themselves a good deal of ill nature, and quarrelling with the author. But if any one is perverse, and chooses to go on without taking my advice, I will not hold myself accountable for the preservation of his temper, nor even of this book; for I am not sure but he may throw it in the fire, before he gets through the first or second chapter. But, should he even persevere and go through, until he receives my parting “salaam,” still I request him to turn back and read the preface, that he may see what the writer thinks of his own book.

HOW BOOKS ARE WONT TO BE MADE.

It is usual with authors, in the outset of their story, to introduce to their readers their Hero and Heroine, with elaborate descriptions of their persons, manners, habits, dress, &c. &c.; all of which is intended, either to prepare the reader’s mind for the very interesting positions which these personages are designed to fill, or to amuse those who are fond of that kind of portraiture. But in this history of “a week in Wall-street,” there is neither hero nor heroine, but a great number and variety of characters, each of whom lives out his sunny hour, and passes again into oblivion. Some there are, it is true, who, from a crawling worm, pass into a chrysalis, and appear to be dead for a time, not only to revive again with new life and beauty, but to soar a lofty height into the world of fashion, and boast the gayest plumage among those who float on the wind of fortune’s fickle favors.

The veritable history of Diedrich Knickerbocker was not a truer story than is every whit of this history of “a week in Wall-street;” but alas for the mutations in all human affairs!—a sad change has come over the waking dreams of the inhabitants of this goodly city, since the days when Petrus Stuyvesant surrendered the government of Niew-Amsterdam to the conquest-loving Briton.

HOW NEW-YORK BECAME SO POPULOUS.

From that day, when first its name was changed to New-York, it has not ceased to be overrun by the stragglers from every country and clime, but especially by those cunning vagabonds from Connecticut, and her sister states, who had well nigh taken in their toils the venerable Petrus and his jolly trumpeter, Antony. And they have now trodden down, or overturned, every remnant of social order, that was so remarkable in the time of the honest Dutchman. In one respect, at least, these interlopers seem to be the favored of heaven—for their seed has multiplied as the sands on the sea shore; and it is shrewdly suspected, by some, that the gambols of the cunning Antony with the lasses of New-Haven, in his famous journey thither, may have had some hand in this, since never was a people known who could blow the trumpet of their own fame, better than these same descendants from the colony of New-Haven.

THE OLD WALL BROKEN DOWN.

From their love of continual change—which they call improvement—they had no sooner gained a footing in the city, than they persuaded the honest Dutchmen to break down the city wall, which had hitherto prevented them from robbing the cabbage garden or tapping the hollands of the rich burghers, and which, some have said, was erected partly to prevent their too frequent solace of themselves with the softer beauties concealed by close caps and short petticoats. And they further persuaded them to convert the ground into a street, thence called “Wall-street;” which, being the scene of their first victory over that prejudice which prefers to keep folks honest when they are so, has ever since continued to be the focus of all enterprises undertaken for one’s own benefit, to be accomplished by other peoples’ means. And it is even said, that the projectors of this work, in reality, designed only to gain for themselves unobstructed access to the good living, and the pretty damsels, of Niew-Amsterdam, now New-York. Want of means themselves to perform so great a work, first suggested to them the idea of a Stock Company, for objects of public improvement; the principal virtue of which is, to replenish the fortunes of those who plan and conduct it, as is more than suspected, since most of the money generally stops short of its intended application, and can only be accounted for by mistakes in the original estimates, or expenses preliminary to the commencement of the real work.

MR. SOLOMON SINGLE-EYE.

The good Dutchmen at first looked astonished at a project so bold and vast; they next smoked a pipe and doubted; but on an explanation being given by Mr. Solomon Single-Eye, of all its advantages, accompanied with a prompt offer to embark HIS whole fortune, and give his services for nothing, the shares were eagerly caught up. And as the scheme rose in public estimation, the shares rose in nominal value, greatly above their subscription price; and such was the clamor for more, that the directors—having nothing in view but the public good—disinterestedly consented to sell out theirs at an advance of only seventy-five per cent., in order to appease public opinion, in respect of their apparent partiality in having retained any for themselves. Still, however, the inquiry for shares was eager and constant, so great was the public confidence in the integrity and shrewdness of the directors, and of Mr. Single-Eye, particularly.