Maiden Mona the Mermaid: A Fairy Play for Fairy People

MONA. Why, what a dreadful stormy night we’re getting, It’s well for me I do not mind a wetting! Full fathom five below those crested waves No tempests ever stir our coral caves. We hear no thunder far below the sea; The mermaids’ haunt is still as still can be; In fact it’s rather dull sometimes down there, And so I come up here and comb my hair.

(Moves towards back.)

To-night, alas! another ship went down, I cannot bear to see poor sailors drown.

(Sees PRINCE DOODLE.)

Good gracious! What is this? As I am alive, Why, it’s a man! I know it is!

(Steps hurriedly on rock as though going to plunge into sea.)

I’ll dive! I won’t! (comes down) I will! (goes up) No! (Hesitates.) Shall I? Will it bite? It’s not a shark? (Goes up and peeps, comes back holding hand to heart.) It’s put me in a fright. Mona! you silly goose! This palpitation Is strange perhaps, but not a bad sensation. I rather like it. Is it fear? No question! I’m not afraid! Perhaps it’s indigestion? I’ll take another peep.

(_Goes to PRINCE on tip_toe, and comes away rapidly, clapping her hands._)

He’s charming, really! If I could take him home I’d like to dearly. How nice he’d be to play with! Shall I try? He’s fast asleep! I’m sure he wouldn’t die.

(Tries to raise him. He groans.)

His clothes are wet, perhaps he’s shipwrecked, too.

(PRINCE slowly sits up holding his hand to his side.)

Good evening, sir. (Curtesying.)

PRINCE DOODLE. Good evening. How d’ye do?

(Rises with difficulty and comes forward.)

Where am I? Who are you? What’s this? (Feels water.) It’s water!

MONA. This is the Norway coast, and I’m its daughter. Young sir, you’re wet! your coat—— Might be a better ’un. I’m young; but still you won’t find here a wetter ’un.

MONA. Tell me your tale, for stories I love well.

PRINCE DOODLE. Story; why bless you! I have none to tell; Only last night, a-sailing on the ocean, There came a squall, at least so I’ve a notion. It stormed! it blew! it rained! the lightning crashed! We pitched and rolled, (imitates motion of ship) and tossed, the thunder flashed; The wind, it rose and howled, and so did we.

MONA. That’s very queer!

PRINCE DOODLE. Things often are at sea. “Cut down the starboard stays’l!” cried I. Then “Splice the jib-boom, there, to the cross-trees, men!”

(Speaks excitedly, suiting action to words, and using hands as speaking trumpet,)

“Stand by to hoist the to’gallant sheet anchor! Take a pull on the weather lee scuppers, my hearties! Let the mizzen binnacle go with a run!”

MONA. (Clapping her hands with delight.) I like to hear you talk. Go on! What fun!

PRINCE DOODLE. (Disgusted at interruption.) That’s all.

MONA. (Disappointed.) That’s not the end?

PRINCE DOODLE. ’Twon’t take a minuit. The ship she gave a lurch; and—left us in it. Then to a hen coop clung the crew of forty-five;

MONA. They’re drowned? (clasping her hands in horror.)

PRINCE DOODLE. Oh, not at all; they’re all alive. They flew away.

MONA. What, men!

PRINCE DOODLE. No; geese, my dear! I’m rather mixed. Perhaps my head is queer. Listen, and I’ll a tale unfold to harrow——

MONA. (Shrinking back) Ah! Don’t!

PRINCE DOODLE. A tale to fr-r-r-r-eeze——

MONA. Oh, dear!

PRINCE DOODLE. Your marrow!

PRINCE DOODLE. (Loud chord, and tremulo music through the following.) I have an uncle!

MONA. Not uncommon, surely.

PRINCE DOODLE. Some years ago, my poor papa, felt poorly; Took to his bed, and—died—they say most queerly. My uncle deals in magic? See you?

MONA. Clearly!

PRINCE DOODLE. My parent gone, th’ apparent heir was I! To gain the throne he wished that I should die. And then, because I couldn’t see why he, Instead of I, the nation’s king should be; He shipped me off, alone, to go to see, Alone I said! not so! off was I cast With four and forty geese before the mast! His parting words were these:—“Return, my dear, (Of course the whole thing was a jibe and sneer) When’ere a mermaid’s heart you hold in hand, And four and forty men before me stand, In place of all these geese I send as crew. ’Till then—‘O reservoir!’ my boy! adieu!”