Public-domain ebook
by Twain, Mark; Warner, Charles Dudley
Language: en9,062 downloads on Project Gutenberg
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In: Novels·American Literature
Public-domain ebook sourced from Project Gutenberg #3178.
The work is a satirical political fiction set against a backdrop of speculative iron deals and family anxieties in a Southern household. It opens with Mr. Hawkins confronting a business‑looking stranger who offers ten thousand dollars for his 75,000 acres of iron‑rich land in East Tennessee. Hawkins’s frantic inner monologue, spurred by hopes of a quick fortune, spirals into a series of renegotiations, desperate calculations, and a frantic refusal that leaves him anguished and his wife bewildered. The scene quickly widens to include the Hawkins children, Washington, Emily, Laura, and Clay, who discuss the family’s dwindling finances, the prospect of Washington’s departure to St. Louis, and the desperate attempts to secure a modest sum from Clay’s earnings. The narrative weaves together personal desperation, speculative greed, and the looming specter of political corruption, hinting at the larger themes of the novel.
Written in a colloquial, almost theatrical voice, the prose blends Twain’s characteristic humor with Warner’s more melodramatic flourishes, producing a dialogue‑heavy style that captures the cadence of late‑19th‑century American speech. The language is dense with regional idioms, long sentences, and a rhythm that mirrors the frantic thoughts of its characters. Readers who enjoy biting social commentary, intricate family drama, and a satirical look at the machinations of Washington’s political and business circles will find this novel rewarding. It especially appeals to those who appreciate period satire that exposes the folly of speculation and the fragile veneer of respectability in post‑Reconstruction America.
The opening · free to read
“I am aware that you own 75,000 acres, of land in East Tennessee, and without sacrificing your time, I will come to the point at once. I am agent of an iron manufacturing company, and they empower me to offer you ten thousand dollars for that land.”
Hawkins's heart bounded within him. His whole frame was racked and wrenched with fettered hurrahs. His first impulse was to shout “Done! and God bless the iron company, too!”
But a something flitted through his mind, and his opened lips uttered nothing. The enthusiasm faded away from his eyes, and the look of a man who is thinking took its place. Presently, in a hesitating, undecided way, he said:
“Well, I--it don't seem quite enough. That--that is a very valuable property--very valuable. It's brim full of iron-ore, sir--brim full of it! And copper, coal,--everything--everything you can think of! Now, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll reserve everything except the iron, and I'll sell them the iron property for $15,000 cash, I to go in with them and own an undivided interest of one-half the concern--or the stock, as you may say. I'm out of business, and I'd just as soon help run the thing as not. Now how does that strike you?”
“Well, I am only an agent of these people, who are friends of mine, and I am not even paid for my services. To tell you the truth, I have tried to persuade them not to go into the thing; and I have come square out with their offer, without throwing out any feelers--and I did it in the hope that you would refuse. A man pretty much always refuses another man's first offer, no matter what it is. But I have performed my duty, and will take pleasure in telling them what you say.”
“Too late--too late! He's gone! Fool that I am! always a fool! Thirty thousand--ass that I am! Oh, why didn't I say fifty thousand!”
He plunged his hands into his hair and leaned his elbows on his knees, and fell to rocking himself back and forth in anguish. Mrs. Hawkins sprang in, beaming:
“Well, Si?”
“Oh, con-found the con-founded--con-found it, Nancy. I've gone and done it, now!”
“Done what Si for mercy's sake!”
“Done everything! Ruined everything!”
“Tell me, tell me, tell me! Don't keep a body in such suspense. Didn't he buy, after all? Didn't he make an offer?”
“Offer? He offered $10,000 for our land, and----”
“Thank the good providence from the very bottom of my heart of hearts! What sort of ruin do you call that, Si!”
“Nancy, do you suppose I listened to such a preposterous proposition? No! Thank fortune I'm not a simpleton! I saw through the pretty scheme in a second. It's a vast iron speculation!--millions upon millions in it! But fool as I am I told him he could have half the iron property for thirty thousand--and if I only had him back here he couldn't touch it for a cent less than a quarter of a million!”
Mrs. Hawkins looked up white and despairing:
“You threw away this chance, you let this man go, and we in this awful trouble? You don't mean it, you can't mean it!”
“Throw it away? Catch me at it! Why woman, do you suppose that man don't know what he is about? Bless you, he'll be back fast enough to-morrow.”
“Never, never, never. He never will comeback. I don't know what is to become of us. I don't know what in the world is to become of us.”
A shade of uneasiness came into Hawkins's face. He said:
“Why, Nancy, you--you can't believe what you are saying.”
“Believe it, indeed? I know it, Si. And I know that we haven't a cent in the world, and we've sent ten thousand dollars a-begging.”
“Nancy, you frighten me. Now could that man--is it possible that I--hanged if I don't believe I have missed a chance! Don't grieve, Nancy, don't grieve. I'll go right after him. I'll take--I'll take--what a fool I am!--I'll take anything he'll give!”
The next instant he left the house on a run. But the man was no longer in the town. Nobody knew where he belonged or whither he had gone. Hawkins came slowly back, watching wistfully but hopelessly for the stranger, and lowering his price steadily with his sinking heart. And when his foot finally pressed his own threshold, the value he held the entire Tennessee property at was five hundred dollars--two hundred down and the rest in three equal annual payments, without interest.
There was a sad gathering at the Hawkins fireside the next night. All the children were present but Clay. Mr. Hawkins said:
“Washington, we seem to be hopelessly fallen, hopelessly involved. I am ready to give up. I do not know where to turn--I never have been down so low before, I never have seen things so dismal. There are many mouths to feed; Clay is at work; we must lose you, also, for a little while, my boy. But it will not be long--the Tennessee land----”
He stopped, and was conscious of a blush. There was silence for a moment, and then Washington--now a lank, dreamy-eyed stripling between twenty-two and twenty-three years of age--said:
“If Col. Sellers would come for me, I would go and stay with him a while, till the Tennessee land is sold. He has often wanted me to come, ever since he moved to Hawkeye.”
“I'm afraid he can't well come for you, Washington. From what I can hear--not from him of course, but from others--he is not far from as bad off as we are--and his family is as large, too. He might find something for you to do, maybe, but you'd better try to get to him yourself, Washington--it's only thirty miles.”
“But how can I, father? There's no stage or anything.”
“And if there were, stages require money. A stage goes from Swansea, five miles from here. But it would be cheaper to walk.”
“Father, they must know you there, and no doubt they would credit you in a moment, for a little stage ride like that. Couldn't you write and ask them?”
“Couldn't you, Washington--seeing it's you that wants the ride? And what do you think you'll do, Washington, when you get to Hawkeye? Finish your invention for making window-glass opaque?”
“No, sir, I have given that up. I almost knew I could do it, but it was so tedious and troublesome I quit it.”
“I was afraid of it, my boy. Then I suppose you'll finish your plan of coloring hen's eggs by feeding a peculiar diet to the hen?”
“No, sir. I believe I have found out the stuff that will do it, but it kills the hen; so I have dropped that for the present, though I can take it up again some day when I learn how to manage the mixture better.”
“Well, what have you got on hand--anything?”
“Yes, sir, three or four things. I think they are all good and can all be done, but they are tiresome, and besides they require money. But as soon as the land is sold----”
“Emily, were you about to say something?” said Hawkins.
“Yes, sir. If you are willing, I will go to St. Louis. That will make another mouth less to feed. Mrs. Buckner has always wanted me to come.”
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